put down that slice of cake, and let's mosh those pounds away!

Dear surfing dead,

sorry for a complete lack of post in forever, but i haven't felt the need to rant enough to overpower my problem with people who post blogs sounding self important. my current bother with the world seems to be stemming from the ever growing snowball of technology coming towards us to utterly crush physical human contact. seriously, i don't mean to sound like some old guy who's not keeping up with the times or embracing change, but shit's out of control man.

it's gotten to the point now where commented on someone's facebook replaces a phone call. or sending someone a half assed text means you "tried" to contact them at least. those things are bad enough. now you have a guitar controler and color coated drum kits and you're a virtual band now. the next tony hawk is going to have a board controler that you stand on and do the moves from there. really? come one. we really do live in a virtual reality, where we have our real life where we go to work, mow the lawn, maybe go to the bar or something... but then we have this other life that's literally virtual reality. we have our myspace and our facebook, we have our online gaming buddies, we have our blogs that we check to hear about other people's lives. we get our news online, we go shopping online. the internet is a great thing but i'm starting to wonder if it's really good for human being socially. i mean, you're still talking to people i guess, i don't know. i'm rambling and it's hard to put my finger on it. maybe it is the future and it's all just moving forward. but it is insane the techology that is available to even the bottom rung consumers.

all these thoughts have been floating around in my head for awhile. obviously my hate for guitar hero related games is nothing new. but the application of that approach to skateboarding really disgusts me. they already did it with the shawn white game so it's nothing new really, but seriously? why don't you step out in the sun for a couple minutes and risk a scraped knee or two? seriously. the straw on my humped back is due to yesterday when i misplaced my cell phone and worked a double at work with no contact from the outside world. it was weird. it's been years since i probably went a whole day without a cell phone. and i survived. i missed my wife more than usual, because i didn't even have a text from her all day, or have a chance to ask her how her day was. and that's a good thing. it's different when you can't even text someone.

in addition, my one month xbox live subscription ran out this week. i'm jonesin like nobody's business, but it was eating my life. i'm glad i don't have the 8 bucks right now to get another one. everything in moderation.

and that's kinda my point. technology is a good thing. granted our government uses it against us before we even know it exists, but it's progress. shows us we're moving forward. theoretically it makes life easier. now you don't have to spend a day on the phone calling everyone about a party. just forward one email to everyone. but what if you tried doing something else instead of checking your facebook every half hour. what if you read a book, or picked up an instrument, or took a walk, or did something thoughtful for somebody else. that's a lot more rewarding than how many status updates you can post in 24 hours via your cell phone. right?

or maybe i'm just crazy. and seeing as how sanity is based on consensus, the odds may be pretty good.

by the way, check out the band the cobra skulls. i thought they were weird at first (kinda country punk, but in a way that doesn't suck ie against me) but they're addictive and i keep listening to them. my favorite track on their new release is a song called bad apples. here's why. cobra skulls are from reno. reno is one of the reasons why straight edge is recognized as an official gang, and you can actually get arrested in some places for having a straight edge tattoo. which is really a disgrace that people pushed something that is supposed to be about living a positive life into an area associated with all the crime in the world, prostitution, drugs etc. "when your adrenaline's pumping, do you like the rush" and "your actions make you look intoxicated" are the stand out lines to me. i think it a brilliant song and they totally nailed how full of shit people like that make themselves out to be.

anyway, try not to make the world any worse today. especially since everyone in new jersey is being arrested for some kind of scam right now. rabbis selling human livers at crazy prices? next they'll be killing the son of god. what? to soon?

why are you wearing that silly man suit?

so, as co-founder of this blog, i figure it's about time to introduce myself. some call me...tim? rachel and i formed this blog for a couple reasons. one, was for something to do since i work nights all the time, and two, because it seems neither of our thoughts and opinions fit into a nice box that would be welcome in any of the communities that are a part of our lives. so, seeing as how there is no voice saying what we think, we decided to be our own voice. the actual urbandictionary fake definition of the word zombiecrat is someone who blindly follows whatever the democratic party says. as i'm not really fond of any party, i have modified that definition to describe someone who believes outright what is prescribed by any group they associate themselves with. be it republican, democrat, communist, anarchist, or scenester/punk rocker. zombiecrats anonymous therefore being someone who is sick of being shit fed and may be looking for an alternative alternative voice.

of course rachel will be correcting my grammar and picking on my run on sentences, which are kind of my trademark, but life goes on.

speaking of life, how's yours? who reads this? this is like my online home, so if you stop by, say something. just don't hide out in the corner and try to watch some free tv, alright? say something. aside from dave. i know you're there. hi dave! see? if you leave a comment i'll make you famous.

anyway, so while i internalize more disdain for stupid people for my first diatribe, go find the nearest child under 13, preferably one you're related to, to take to the movie Up, cause it's sweet, and you'll just look weird with your college guy beard thing and your 10 dollar popcorn watching a cartoon. it's a good movie, but not good enough to look as awkward as helen keller doing... anything. oh, did i mention helen keller jokes rule?

alright, go treat a bum to a slice of pizza. later surfing dead.

Fantasy Interview

Hey all, happy Tuesday. This first blog is going to be weird, fair warning.

I have basically had this consistent day-dream of being interviewed for the novel that I still have not completed. It's in its early editing stages, but for as long as I can remember, I have always dreamed of selling mad copies. This is mostly for shits if anyone's interested.

Feel free to comment on my pomposity if you like.

Fantasy Interview

Well we want to start by saying congratulations! How does it feel to have a published book on the New York Time’s Best Seller’s List?

Feels fantastic thanks for having me. I always imagined being interviewed
exactly like this… verbatim.

Verbatim? [Chuckles] We haven’t even started…

Are you giving me shit already? Is this that kind of interview?

[Adjusts her shirt nervously] So… Rachel… can you give the readers a brief premise of the book?

It’s basically about a kid whose best friend goes missing. He pretty much conducts his own search while simultaneously putting his greatest talents to work. A lot of musically-influenced themes and stuff. I actually got a lot of crap for the premise.

How is that?

A lot of people were asking me if Chase Hughes (the protagonist) was gay. As if the only way you could be so lost and distraught over a missing person is if you’re infatuated or something. I don’t know… I’ve done some of that and more for “just friends”. Probably makes me a ridiculous person, but it’s not so far-fetched… not too far-fetched for fiction, at least. I knew that finding an agent to promote it would be impossible, but I refused to change the entire plot.

You mentioned themes within the book. What other themes are prevalent?

I just like to slip my own very strong opinions of things here and there. I basically have justifications for random bullshit that amuses me, and then some stuff I know is going to piss off my readers. Things like my whole opinion of Fat Mike, the entire character of Damon… [Smiles] actually, those kind of go hand in hand.

Can you elaborate?

Sure. I have always had this kind of struggle between being a Christian (oh yeah, FYI) and being involved in specific sub-genres of music that, for the most part, ever-so-generally speaking, hate what I believe in. And that’s all good, but as a writer, I wanted to focus on music. As a believer, I felt like I had to “use my gift”. I mean, I could give a shit if anyone thinks I’m a big fat hairy “poser” or whatever. The point was, how do you make the two co-exist? That’s where Damon came in. I figured, well, why do people hate Christians anyway? Oh right, they’re preachy. I hate being told what to do, so why wouldn’t my readers? Especially since they’re probably picking up the book for the music that already hates that stuff. So I figure, well I’ll have one character who is the ideal person, and just shed some positive light on this guy. Literary techniques ‘n crap.

How did you use that to work with the part on Fat Mike?

The rant was less than a page, and everyone is stewing over it. [Laughs] Anyway, half way through my book, my husband was reading interviews. He’s getting awfully loud about his beliefs lately, if anyone hasn’t noticed. I like the band, don’t get me wrong. I like them the way I like Bad Religion, Dillinger Four, The Lawrence Arms, and Set Your Goals (all bands who generally dislike what I believe in). My problem (as stated clearly in the excerpt) is that he declares this whole freaking war on Christianity. I mean, seriously? I don’t care if you think religion in general is irrational, I’m cool with that. I don’t mind people thinking I’m some kind of idiot because I don’t buy evolution… I’ve got a Best Seller, so my ego’s not exactly hurting. But to declare, very formally, your hatred of a specific group of people based on orientation, religion, race, etc. is against everything he says he believes in. It’s the hypocrisy that pisses me off. Whatever, that’s just one of the things I tried to pull in the book. My reader’s probably don’t appreciate it, but I didn’t do this to give my audience warm fuzzies.

Can you talk a little more about the characters? Scarlet, for example, is a writer. Does she represent you?

Kind of, except I’m not a self-proclaimed whore. [laughs] Nah, my characters all have a little of me in them. Scarlet having the writing ability was just that someone had to have it, right? I don’t consider myself a seductress or a particularly pretty girl. Scarlet’s a babe.

What about the other characters?

Damon I just mentioned is pretty obvious. Chase is crass and obnoxious which is me to a “T”. My husband suggested the whole Shakespearean effect of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern which was my inspiration for the roadies. Stuff like that. My characters aren’t fictional to me – they’re real people with real dilemmas and personalities.

We took some questions from your readers on our website. This one’s from William Jenkowitz, from Boston. He asks, “Why didn’t you end the book with Blake being dead the whole time, or a reunion between friends? You could have gone so many other ways, what made you choose this ending?”

Well, William in all actuality, he was dead. He was a completely different person. And what would Chase’s reaction have been if he was literally found deceased? Grief? Surprise? Wouldn’t he just be victimized? No, I wanted him to be pissed off and triumphant for the final chapter; he really needed that epiphany. You see this loyal person, never failing, never giving up throughout. You see him taking all of the blame from the town and utilizing it in such a pro-active way… and then you see some coke-snorting, withered icon that the town had idolized. Isn’t that real life? Isn’t that just so, “Kid and Heroes” all Bouncing Souls style? You’re damn right it is.

Rachel, Katie from Detroit writes, “I was really able to relate to the book. I think it’s something that everyone can relate to, even if you don’t like that kind of music. Did you use a lot of real-life experiences? What is it like writing in the first-person of a guy?”

Ok there’s two parts to that question. The first one is easy – I don’t know if it’s even possible to write a story about something you haven’t experienced. I probably couldn’t conduct a first person narrative on a Siberian adventure. I mean, I don’t even know where the hell Siberia is on the map. Honestly, I had to pick up more than just my pen to write this thing. At fifteen I had the base work, the premise lined up. I knew that Chase Hughes was a bass player all the way. At some point, I had to pick it up myself to get all descriptive and shit. “Fighting for fingers on the frets”… you don’t write that kind of a line until your fingers are literally tripping over each other. And generally speaking, yeah, the whole best friends thing didn’t really make sense to me until much later on. I wrote the fight and everything, but I went back and adjusted it all when my own, fictional plot erupted in my face. I don’t know if, as a fifteen year-old, I shouldn’t have even considered it complete. I hadn’t experienced anything at all, yet. So yeah, Katie, every book is about experience.

What was the other question? Oh yeah [laughs] writing as a dude. I don’t know, for the most part my reader’s didn’t really even catch on. No one made a big deal out of it, because it’s not like my character is a “dude bro” kind of guy. But when I start telling people, “Yeah, I’ve always written in first person, as a guy” they look at me cross-eyed. How was it? I don’t know, natural? I’m not reinventing the wheel here, folks – it’s been done before.

You said that you initially started playing bass because of the book. Has that inspired you to become an active bassist?

[Laughs hysterically] I never said that I played anything. I said I picked it up. I’m a writer, not a musician… that’s my husband’s forte. In fact, I was throwing around the idea of trying guitar again (I fooled around with a crappy Ibanez when I was a kid), but I had this huge dilemma with chords. I can’t strum and place three different fingers in three different places, three different times. I can’t rub my stomach and pat my head, you feel me? [Laughs] But I could play those more-difficult songs, a hundred notes at a time. So my husband just kind of looks at me like I’m retarded and says, “So why don’t you just try bass?” And before you ask, no I can’t play chords on bass either. [Looks at the camera, to the home audience] And yes, I do use a pick, like you’re supposed to.

What are your plans for writing now that your book is completed?

That’s actually a really good question. I don’t think I’m going to do a sequel. I was thinking of writing a new story, maybe in another character’s perspective, and keeping Chase out of the spotlight. I’m not sure. Most of my friends have suggested a memoir, but I don’t do creative non-fiction. That and I have a bad memory. [Winks] That’s everything that I’m not going to do. Who knows what I’ll whip up next. Maybe a collection of poems or something.

Is there anything else you want to tell your readers before we close?

I don’t know. I guess pick up the book and enjoy it. Don’t let my shenanigans ruin your day.

My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.

What's up, bloggers?

Tim and I are going to start writing in here daily. It's a good way for us to get our writing out and to keep in touch with friends between New Jersey and the upstates. (The title of this blog was appropriate since people used to call me Sybil back at an old, hellish job... they weren't far off.) I'm a loon, but it makes life interesting.

Nothing really exciting, but there will be jokes, excerpts from my work-in-progress fiction, the scariest contributions out of the shadows of Tim's brilliant/scattered mind, and other such random crap thats probably a waste of everyone's time.

I'll probably start with a fantasy interivew tomorrow for shits. And if you don't have a sense of humor... don't read my excerpts, folks. Actually, just stop reading now.

Ass crass with no class,

Rac


p.s. the first person to say what a Zombiecrat is, gets a free grey cat.